Kittens Against Masturbation's topics - tribe.net

my daughter gave me the brown monster doll for xmas!!!

BayBi Mod — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 01:36:44 GMT

she'd never seen the poster with the monsters chasing the kittens. but when she gave me the doll for xmas i looked at it over and over and thought "hmmmmmmm, this is vaguely familiar."

it wasn't until i logged on to tribe later that i realized "oh my god, i now own the kitten killing doll!" i'm paying for my sins now aren't i?

damn, and i thought it would just involve growing hairy forearms, an increased case of acne, and going blind. damn damn damn.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 1 reply

Something in the Air

davidgiven — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 12:28:00 GMT

hola,

this morning it is raining in the OC. I am listening to the Who's Quadrophenia. Abbie & Tulip have killed one bird - which they brought into the house and ripped apart. It was a large crow like thing and there are still feathers everywhere.

10 minutes later they brought in one seriously stunned Rabbit - which I wrestled away from them and released outside, but it appears to have a very broken leg, so we will see how it does.

My cats are generally not killers, but there is obviously something in the air today & they are getting it done.

thanks
davids

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies

KITTENS AGAINST DEFENESTRATION

madamegonzaga — Thu, 13 Oct 2005 17:33:00 GMT

ze war on masturbationings hath bin won. Lettuce turn now tou ze fighte against defenestration!

VIVA LE RESISTDUNCE!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 5 replies

Doin' the math

Sleepy — Sat, 21 May 2005 17:26:35 GMT

I am not so sure all this kitten death stuff is true. I got this Esquire magazine that has a scientific survey of sexual practices worldwide. It has a graph that shows something like 1/3 of the women in the UK, Brazil Indonesia and the US masturbate several times a week. Throw all the teenage boys in with the rest of the world, there can't be that many kitties can there. That would be like half a billion kitties a week or more, not counting what the Chinese do.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 4 replies

hell-o

misszombie — Sat, 16 Apr 2005 23:27:41 GMT

im new here, just wanted to say hi! ;)

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 4 replies

My kitty

Sleepy — Sat, 05 Mar 2005 16:52:07 GMT

My kitty has a big shave mark up her side. Does this mean someone got interrupted?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 9 replies

Bruzzles und Seestahs CALL TOU AXXXION!

madamegonzaga — Wed, 12 Jan 2005 08:17:14 GMT

http://romania.tribe.net/tribe/41984326-4779-4fd7-bd77-a54b542ab4c8?_click_path=Application%5Btribe%5D.Tribe%5B41984326-4779-4fd7-bd77-a54b542ab4c8%5D&r=10506

Eatsa thyme tou band togezzle, grey und orange, stripey und solid, cattie und dogging, bird und beast.

UNITE! Eatsa thyme tou takey zeez peoples DOWN!

Join und fight. Take zee stand.

Viva le Resist DUNCE!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 5 replies

Kitten-Killer-atron

Sleepy — Fri, 12 Nov 2004 04:11:30 GMT

everyone knows there are a lot of different devices that can help you knock off a few kittens. here is an implant for females...

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Living/story?id=235788&page=1

now stop it, cut it out, oh go ahead.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 6 replies

It's not that we don't like masturbation...

zenzen — Tue, 14 Sep 2004 00:52:06 GMT

It just that we feel left out -- it's impossible to masturbate with our little paws!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 10 replies

...and you will know us by the trail of dead

Sleepy — Fri, 22 Oct 2004 02:40:22 GMT

its the name of a texas psycho-punk band. but what does it really mean? are they a band? or a posse of kitten killers??? makes me wonder.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 5 replies

A clearer definition

skwirl — Mon, 06 Oct 2003 18:15:21 GMT

I was going to suggest a poll topic asking us to collectively compile a list of 101 to use a kitten for masturbation, when it dawned on me: are we talking using kittens as a means of masturbation or simply to masturbate the kittens themselves?

What do we think, as a group? Or should it even be defined? Inquiring minds want to know.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 5 replies

I'd masturbate...

Fri, 20 Aug 2004 03:29:23 GMT

but my arms are too short to reach all the way down there.
I hope that if I get my friend Ron to help me, the kittens wont be in jeopardy!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 7 replies

Lucky Kittens!!!

Christina — Fri, 01 Oct 2004 12:17:59 GMT

I was going to kill a kitten or two last night ... but then I fell asleep!

you kittens are sooo lucky!

HA! Happy Friday!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies

tv killer

Sleepy — Sat, 30 Oct 2004 12:39:49 GMT

we all know by now that those rush limbaugh and bill o'reilly rants were pumped by a little kitten killing under the table. thats probably no surprise anyway. my question is...are there other tv or radio killers that haven't been id'd yet? doesn't it seem like katie couric gives a little shudder everytime she says "lacy peterson"???

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 0 replies

OBVIOUSLY...

zenzen — Wed, 13 Oct 2004 22:50:26 GMT

some kittens masturbate -- who does god kill then?

www.manaszk.it.pl/zarty/2911.mpg

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 25 replies

at work

kimikimkim — Wed, 06 Oct 2004 01:50:01 GMT

i just killed a kitten during my workday. should my employer pay for the related funeral costs?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 12 replies

I have a problem...

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 04:46:20 GMT

I like kittens, AND I like masturbating.
What's a girl to do?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 18 replies

judge kills kittens during trial

BoyChaos — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 20:11:07 GMT

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=1&u=/nm/20040624/od_nm/odd_judge_dc

need i say more?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 4 replies

HEY!

Thu, 06 May 2004 07:28:03 GMT

Now that I have two kittens, do I have to be afraid they're gonna die because of you incessant masturbators out there?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 67 replies

copy cat

Wed, 23 Jun 2004 12:57:06 GMT

any of you suckers playing with yourselves see this.
what the fuck! why not kill puppies in exchange for all the ultrakittieviolence?
very disturbing indeed.

http://www.tribe.net/tribe/servlet/template/pub%2CViewPhoto.vm/context/tribe?page=7&currentoffset=40&parentid=28a7ba58-1b21-4e4a-ba36-23864a92c931

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies

How many kittens do you kill on a regular basis ?

Ami — Wed, 16 Jun 2004 16:11:37 GMT

I killed 2 yesterday. I needed to confess my sin.......

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 20 replies

Kittens!

zenzen — Thu, 10 Jun 2004 00:02:54 GMT

Everything's coming up KITTENS!

http://www.rathergood.com/punk_kittens/

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies

Top Ten Star Wars Fan Euphemisms For Not Having A Girlfriend

TOMMY — Fri, 21 May 2004 23:54:14 GMT

From Letterman,

10. Camping alone outside the theater.

9. My force is no longer with me.

8. The Death Star is not yet operational.

7. The Empire's striking out.

6. Shaking hands with the wookie.

5. Darth Vader has no place to put his helmet.

4. Oiling the droid.

3. Unable to set coordinates for the planet Babe.

2. Spending the night with Han Solo.

1. Tractor beam not powerful enough.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 3 replies

which kitten?

BoyChaos — Wed, 21 Apr 2004 14:51:00 GMT

http://www.quizilla.com/users/depressedninja/quizzes/Every%20time%20you%20masturbate...%20which%20kitten%20does%20god%20kill%3F

We know that when we masterbate, a cute little kitty passes on to the great litterbox in the sky. Have you ever wondered what these poor innocent creatures look like? Now you can.

NOW maybe you can keep your hands off your naughty bits...

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 6 replies

kittin genocide

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 15:56:25 GMT

do you think it's possible that if enough people came as hard as they could at the same time kittens could go extinct.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 8 replies

oh dear god, NO!!

darcy — Thu, 25 Sep 2003 23:21:53 GMT

it just occurred to me how many MILLIONS of kittens must have died because of me... :(
...and how many millions more to come...

i love kittens, but i love masterbation more.
heh.

TANK

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 39 replies

-.-

Caleb — Fri, 19 Mar 2004 09:33:09 GMT

how many times can this picture be funny? the first time i saw it i was pretty surprised.. I have my very own domo-kun so i feel validated in wasting time on this... thanks

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 7 replies

a union of sorts

Sun, 07 Mar 2004 17:19:53 GMT

THERE IS NO REASON WHY KITTENS AGAINST MASTURBATION SHOULD NOT JOIN WITH MY ninjas tribe. we fight a common enemy.

bjmf

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 7 replies

Bonsai Kittens?

Sat, 27 Sep 2003 16:51:42 GMT

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near Tannhäuser Gate.......
But it's really weird and shocking!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 8 replies

HI I'm new

boss — Wed, 18 Feb 2004 22:50:12 GMT

I love kittens, right, but there's one from next door that keeps coming in through our cat flaps and stealing all the catfood we leave out for the magnificent Mr Rigsby. The cheeky little thing is getting quite barrel-like due to her food thievery and I'm worried It'll affect her in later life.

Is there any way I can deter the kitten through masturbatory activities? I don't want her dead, just disabled enough to loose some weight.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 4 replies

It's been so quiet lately

ivydee — Sat, 14 Feb 2004 00:48:20 GMT

Have we finally killed them all off??? (I, personally, may have been responsible for two or three of those this week.)

Sorry.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 4 replies

I wonder, does the whole masturbation-kitten death thing apply...

Grace — Mon, 16 Feb 2004 10:28:44 GMT

to this kitten????

http://encarta.msn.com/media_701509461/First_Cloned_Cat.html

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 5 replies

XXX Church

vin3 — Sun, 18 Jan 2004 08:46:20 GMT

I know where you got this Kitty Jpg. Just joined.

www.xxxchurch.com

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 5 replies

Kittens hate it...

Wed, 24 Dec 2003 23:52:10 GMT

...when you use them as cum towels.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 7 replies

Kitty porn

furrygeek — Sun, 30 Nov 2003 15:52:38 GMT

I just found a couple of expose articles on kitty porn.

http://cats.about.com/library/weekly/blkittyporn.htm
http://www.ida.liu.se/~davby/mirrors/kp/

According to one of the articles:
"All over the world there are increasing reports of kitty porn. China, Japan and the Netherlands have all become hot spots on the kitty porn circuit."

Something must be done. Won't someone think of the kittens?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 3 replies

Killin' Kittens at work

TOMMY — Thu, 04 Dec 2003 22:23:48 GMT

Anybody else ever have the urge to go "knock one out" at work? Or is that just me?..................Anybody, hello.............is this thing on?........Bueller?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 11 replies

another way to kill kittens

industrialyte — Tue, 09 Dec 2003 17:48:59 GMT

http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/kitty.htm

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies

Proximity

chronovore — Sat, 18 Oct 2003 12:42:00 GMT

Is there any relationship between where The Wank takes place, and which cat gets taken out?

Is there any way to target a particular cat?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 14 replies

hey dudes

taco "we don't love them hos" max — Mon, 10 Nov 2003 00:55:52 GMT

my name is taco max! i am almost 11 weeks old and have been living with my new family for a week now! please check out my new pictures. i had an eye infection so excuse my boogers. but hey dude, you can't be the bo$$ of you don't pay da cost, yeah?

see me kick the troll's ass!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 4 replies

independent kitten

M.L.M. — Sat, 22 Nov 2003 22:30:17 GMT

when you feel the need, "thow your hands up" instead:
http://www.rathergood.com/independent_woman/

(also, "we like tha moon", further down the page. but i don't think those things are kittens.)

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 0 replies

pics

TOMMY — Fri, 07 Nov 2003 17:09:41 GMT

OK the pics in this tribe were all cute and classy. But now someone put up a not-so-classy one. If you look, you'll know the one I'm talkin about. Nothin wrong with the pic, it just doesn't belong in this tribe. There are plenty others out there to put it on.

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until you've been there...

Mon, 03 Nov 2003 21:39:08 GMT

until a kitten gives it a try, they've no right to complain.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 0 replies

strokin'

grabbit — Mon, 27 Oct 2003 07:39:41 GMT

i had a cat once, for about a week. he showed up at my door. he charmed is way in. the cutest thing you ever did see, he had those extra toes they sometimes have.
well soon we noticed he was having "relations" with the pillows and blankets and stuff. he'd do it real suave, starting slow, working it from all angles and making that pillow feel real special. my friend angela would sing that song "strokin to the east, strokin to the west" then he'd pump really fast and then bail like nothing happened. once there was even a brownish loogie left behind, good thing my roomate never found out it was on her bed.
the weird thing was the vet told us he'd been "fixed". how come he still had to stroke it so much? and why did he leave me suddenly on day like so many tomcats before with fish on his breath and adventure on his mind?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 1 reply

Ooops

thomas666 — Wed, 15 Oct 2003 09:46:29 GMT

I think I just killed two kitties. It's one kittie per load, right?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 11 replies

Squirrel sexuality documented

skwirl — Tue, 07 Oct 2003 00:27:08 GMT

Wow, and I thought my insatiable sexual appetite was an abberation! I guess it's genetic. Here's an excerpt from the article linked below:

"Said LS&A sophomore and Delta Iota Pi sorority member Katie Gray, 'These squirrels are freaking me out. I was on my way to this "Doggy Style" theme party last Saturday, so I had this awesome Pussycat costume. It was all black vinyl, kind of Cat Woman-like sex kitten? So anyways, I was walking down by the Diag, and about fifty of these rabid squirrels jumped on me from out of nowhere and started humping me! I know I looked hot, but come on!"

http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/Volume2.7/squirrel.html

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 0 replies

They eat kittens in China...

DJ_Michelangelo — Fri, 26 Sep 2003 03:24:28 GMT

...I've seen the TV coverage on restaurants outside of Beijing and Shanghai. So..... kittens are a commodity, aren't they?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies

Cross species stimulation

skwirl — Fri, 26 Sep 2003 23:24:23 GMT

What's wrong with a little auto-eroticism when the mood is right? So, is it wrong that I like to manually stimulate young felines every now and again?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 1 reply

Humans are stupid!

Ms. Kitty — Fri, 26 Sep 2003 02:42:21 GMT

California budget crisis, lay-offs, industry downturns, recall elections, etc. etc., and all this with HUMANS in charge? Duh! It should be obvious what the problem is! You need a CAT in charge!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies