Kittens Against Masturbation's topics - tribe.net

my daughter gave me the brown monster doll for xmas!!!

2008-01-22T09:14:11Z

she'd never seen the poster with the monsters chasing the kittens. but when she gave me the doll for xmas i looked at it over and over and thought "hmmmmmmm, this is vaguely familiar."

it wasn't until i logged on to tribe later that i realized "oh my god, i now own the kitten killing doll!" i'm paying for my sins now aren't i?

damn, and i thought it would just involve growing hairy forearms, an increased case of acne, and going blind. damn damn damn.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 1 reply

Something in the Air

2007-03-29T16:18:37Z

hola,

this morning it is raining in the OC. I am listening to the Who's Quadrophenia. Abbie & Tulip have killed one bird - which they brought into the house and ripped apart. It was a large crow like thing and there are still feathers everywhere.

10 minutes later they brought in one seriously stunned Rabbit - which I wrestled away from them and released outside, but it appears to have a very broken leg, so we will see how it does.

My cats are generally not killers, but there is obviously something in the air today & they are getting it done.

thanks
davids

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies

KITTENS AGAINST DEFENESTRATION

2007-03-29T16:16:39Z

ze war on masturbationings hath bin won. Lettuce turn now tou ze fighte against defenestration!

VIVA LE RESISTDUNCE!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 5 replies

Doin' the math

2005-10-05T08:39:36Z

I am not so sure all this kitten death stuff is true. I got this Esquire magazine that has a scientific survey of sexual practices worldwide. It has a graph that shows something like 1/3 of the women in the UK, Brazil Indonesia and the US masturbate several times a week. Throw all the teenage boys in with the rest of the world, there can't be that many kitties can there. That would be like half a billion kitties a week or more, not counting what the Chinese do.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 4 replies

hell-o

2005-04-17T23:39:50Z

im new here, just wanted to say hi! ;)

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 4 replies

My kitty

2005-04-17T02:10:02Z

My kitty has a big shave mark up her side. Does this mean someone got interrupted?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 9 replies

Bruzzles und Seestahs CALL TOU AXXXION!

2005-01-21T10:51:53Z

http://romania.tribe.net/tribe/41984326-4779-4fd7-bd77-a54b542ab4c8?_click_path=Application%5Btribe%5D.Tribe%5B41984326-4779-4fd7-bd77-a54b542ab4c8%5D&r=10506

Eatsa thyme tou band togezzle, grey und orange, stripey und solid, cattie und dogging, bird und beast.

UNITE! Eatsa thyme tou takey zeez peoples DOWN!

Join und fight. Take zee stand.

Viva le Resist DUNCE!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 5 replies

Kitten-Killer-atron

2004-12-01T02:49:16Z

everyone knows there are a lot of different devices that can help you knock off a few kittens. here is an implant for females...

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Living/story?id=235788&page=1

now stop it, cut it out, oh go ahead.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 6 replies

It's not that we don't like masturbation...

2004-11-07T06:47:06Z

It just that we feel left out -- it's impossible to masturbate with our little paws!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 10 replies

...and you will know us by the trail of dead

2004-11-05T19:45:47Z

its the name of a texas psycho-punk band. but what does it really mean? are they a band? or a posse of kitten killers??? makes me wonder.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 5 replies

A clearer definition

2004-11-05T19:43:58Z

I was going to suggest a poll topic asking us to collectively compile a list of 101 to use a kitten for masturbation, when it dawned on me: are we talking using kittens as a means of masturbation or simply to masturbate the kittens themselves?

What do we think, as a group? Or should it even be defined? Inquiring minds want to know.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 5 replies

I'd masturbate...

2004-11-05T19:34:53Z

but my arms are too short to reach all the way down there.
I hope that if I get my friend Ron to help me, the kittens wont be in jeopardy!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 7 replies

Lucky Kittens!!!

2004-11-05T19:32:49Z

I was going to kill a kitten or two last night ... but then I fell asleep!

you kittens are sooo lucky!

HA! Happy Friday!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies

tv killer

2004-10-30T12:39:49Z

we all know by now that those rush limbaugh and bill o'reilly rants were pumped by a little kitten killing under the table. thats probably no surprise anyway. my question is...are there other tv or radio killers that haven't been id'd yet? doesn't it seem like katie couric gives a little shudder everytime she says "lacy peterson"???

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 0 replies

OBVIOUSLY...

2004-10-22T04:27:06Z

some kittens masturbate -- who does god kill then?

www.manaszk.it.pl/zarty/2911.mpg

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 25 replies

at work

2004-10-09T05:54:59Z

i just killed a kitten during my workday. should my employer pay for the related funeral costs?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 12 replies

I have a problem...

2004-08-17T18:27:28Z

I like kittens, AND I like masturbating.
What's a girl to do?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 18 replies

judge kills kittens during trial

2004-08-04T07:38:06Z

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=1&u=/nm/20040624/od_nm/odd_judge_dc

need i say more?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 4 replies

HEY!

2004-07-09T01:19:22Z

Now that I have two kittens, do I have to be afraid they're gonna die because of you incessant masturbators out there?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 67 replies

copy cat

2004-06-24T01:00:18Z

any of you suckers playing with yourselves see this.
what the fuck! why not kill puppies in exchange for all the ultrakittieviolence?
very disturbing indeed.

http://www.tribe.net/tribe/servlet/template/pub%2CViewPhoto.vm/context/tribe?page=7&currentoffset=40&parentid=28a7ba58-1b21-4e4a-ba36-23864a92c931

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies

How many kittens do you kill on a regular basis ?

2004-06-22T21:12:44Z

I killed 2 yesterday. I needed to confess my sin.......

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 20 replies

Kittens!

2004-06-10T00:10:17Z

Everything's coming up KITTENS!

http://www.rathergood.com/punk_kittens/

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies

Top Ten Star Wars Fan Euphemisms For Not Having A Girlfriend

2004-06-04T00:32:51Z

From Letterman,

10. Camping alone outside the theater.

9. My force is no longer with me.

8. The Death Star is not yet operational.

7. The Empire's striking out.

6. Shaking hands with the wookie.

5. Darth Vader has no place to put his helmet.

4. Oiling the droid.

3. Unable to set coordinates for the planet Babe.

2. Spending the night with Han Solo.

1. Tractor beam not powerful enough.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 3 replies

which kitten?

2004-04-22T03:40:35Z

http://www.quizilla.com/users/depressedninja/quizzes/Every%20time%20you%20masturbate...%20which%20kitten%20does%20god%20kill%3F

We know that when we masterbate, a cute little kitty passes on to the great litterbox in the sky. Have you ever wondered what these poor innocent creatures look like? Now you can.

NOW maybe you can keep your hands off your naughty bits...

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 6 replies

kittin genocide

2004-04-21T13:29:45Z

do you think it's possible that if enough people came as hard as they could at the same time kittens could go extinct.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 8 replies

oh dear god, NO!!

2004-04-14T00:41:09Z

it just occurred to me how many MILLIONS of kittens must have died because of me... :(
...and how many millions more to come...

i love kittens, but i love masterbation more.
heh.

TANK

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 39 replies

-.-

2004-03-24T21:42:05Z

how many times can this picture be funny? the first time i saw it i was pretty surprised.. I have my very own domo-kun so i feel validated in wasting time on this... thanks

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 7 replies

a union of sorts

2004-03-12T10:13:40Z

THERE IS NO REASON WHY KITTENS AGAINST MASTURBATION SHOULD NOT JOIN WITH MY ninjas tribe. we fight a common enemy.

bjmf

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 7 replies

Bonsai Kittens?

2004-03-02T21:57:02Z

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near Tannhäuser Gate.......
But it's really weird and shocking!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 8 replies

HI I'm new

2004-02-21T00:07:00Z

I love kittens, right, but there's one from next door that keeps coming in through our cat flaps and stealing all the catfood we leave out for the magnificent Mr Rigsby. The cheeky little thing is getting quite barrel-like due to her food thievery and I'm worried It'll affect her in later life.

Is there any way I can deter the kitten through masturbatory activities? I don't want her dead, just disabled enough to loose some weight.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 4 replies

It's been so quiet lately

2004-02-20T22:35:58Z

Have we finally killed them all off??? (I, personally, may have been responsible for two or three of those this week.)

Sorry.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 4 replies

I wonder, does the whole masturbation-kitten death thing apply...

2004-02-19T21:30:36Z

to this kitten????

http://encarta.msn.com/media_701509461/First_Cloned_Cat.html

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 5 replies

XXX Church

2004-02-13T00:14:58Z

I know where you got this Kitty Jpg. Just joined.

www.xxxchurch.com

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 5 replies

Kittens hate it...

2004-02-02T08:39:29Z

...when you use them as cum towels.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 7 replies

Kitty porn

2003-12-15T17:39:15Z

I just found a couple of expose articles on kitty porn.

http://cats.about.com/library/weekly/blkittyporn.htm
http://www.ida.liu.se/~davby/mirrors/kp/

According to one of the articles:
"All over the world there are increasing reports of kitty porn. China, Japan and the Netherlands have all become hot spots on the kitty porn circuit."

Something must be done. Won't someone think of the kittens?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 3 replies

Killin' Kittens at work

2003-12-15T16:03:03Z

Anybody else ever have the urge to go "knock one out" at work? Or is that just me?..................Anybody, hello.............is this thing on?........Bueller?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 11 replies

another way to kill kittens

2003-12-12T03:20:39Z

http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/kitty.htm

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies

Proximity

2003-11-27T09:51:45Z

Is there any relationship between where The Wank takes place, and which cat gets taken out?

Is there any way to target a particular cat?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 14 replies

hey dudes

2003-11-27T09:50:40Z

my name is taco max! i am almost 11 weeks old and have been living with my new family for a week now! please check out my new pictures. i had an eye infection so excuse my boogers. but hey dude, you can't be the bo$$ of you don't pay da cost, yeah?

see me kick the troll's ass!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 4 replies

independent kitten

2003-11-22T22:30:17Z

when you feel the need, "thow your hands up" instead:
http://www.rathergood.com/independent_woman/

(also, "we like tha moon", further down the page. but i don't think those things are kittens.)

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 0 replies

pics

2003-11-07T17:09:41Z

OK the pics in this tribe were all cute and classy. But now someone put up a not-so-classy one. If you look, you'll know the one I'm talkin about. Nothin wrong with the pic, it just doesn't belong in this tribe. There are plenty others out there to put it on.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 0 replies

until you've been there...

2003-11-03T21:39:08Z

until a kitten gives it a try, they've no right to complain.

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 0 replies

strokin'

2003-10-28T12:37:38Z

i had a cat once, for about a week. he showed up at my door. he charmed is way in. the cutest thing you ever did see, he had those extra toes they sometimes have.
well soon we noticed he was having "relations" with the pillows and blankets and stuff. he'd do it real suave, starting slow, working it from all angles and making that pillow feel real special. my friend angela would sing that song "strokin to the east, strokin to the west" then he'd pump really fast and then bail like nothing happened. once there was even a brownish loogie left behind, good thing my roomate never found out it was on her bed.
the weird thing was the vet told us he'd been "fixed". how come he still had to stroke it so much? and why did he leave me suddenly on day like so many tomcats before with fish on his breath and adventure on his mind?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 1 reply

Ooops

2003-10-22T16:24:42Z

I think I just killed two kitties. It's one kittie per load, right?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 11 replies

Squirrel sexuality documented

2003-10-07T00:27:08Z

Wow, and I thought my insatiable sexual appetite was an abberation! I guess it's genetic. Here's an excerpt from the article linked below:

"Said LS&A sophomore and Delta Iota Pi sorority member Katie Gray, 'These squirrels are freaking me out. I was on my way to this "Doggy Style" theme party last Saturday, so I had this awesome Pussycat costume. It was all black vinyl, kind of Cat Woman-like sex kitten? So anyways, I was walking down by the Diag, and about fifty of these rabid squirrels jumped on me from out of nowhere and started humping me! I know I looked hot, but come on!"

http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/Volume2.7/squirrel.html

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 0 replies

They eat kittens in China...

2003-09-27T05:00:36Z

...I've seen the TV coverage on restaurants outside of Beijing and Shanghai. So..... kittens are a commodity, aren't they?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies

Cross species stimulation

2003-09-26T23:44:20Z

What's wrong with a little auto-eroticism when the mood is right? So, is it wrong that I like to manually stimulate young felines every now and again?

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 1 reply

Humans are stupid!

2003-09-26T15:41:30Z

California budget crisis, lay-offs, industry downturns, recall elections, etc. etc., and all this with HUMANS in charge? Duh! It should be obvious what the problem is! You need a CAT in charge!

posted in Kittens Against Masturbation - 2 replies